Vos Semper Amandus
by Daddy's Girl 1999
Summary: "Can you even rape your wife?" Barclay Harrison's question brought fury to Detective Elliot Stabler's face as he struggled to rein in his hot temper...
1. Eripuit Amore Cum

"Can you even rape your wife?" Barclay Harrison's question brought fury to Detective Elliot Stabler's face as he struggled to rein in his hot temper. Meanwhile, Captain Donald Cragen was sitting across from Mrs. Olivia Benson-Harrison in his office, her eyes alight with fear. She was a twenty-two year old fresh graduate of the Police Academy, with a bright future ahead of her. _**"**_ Where will I stay? I have nowhere to go," she repeated, her voice shaky with emotion.

Captain Don Cragen felt a rush of fatherly sympathy as he looked at the young graduate turned rape victim at the hands of someone who was supposed to love her. "How would you like staying with me? I have excellent security and a lot of room," Don offered. "Thank you. I would really appreciate that," she said, gratefully accepting the offer with a small smile.

"Okay, let me finish up this inhumane stack of paperwork, which I am sure qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment under the 8th amendment. Then, we can head back to my place. The best coffee is in the break room. Detective Munch makes the so-called coffee in the squad room, so avoid that as if your life depends on it." Olivia giggled as she slowly made her way out of his office, murmuring a soft thank you. Four hours later, Olivia was thoroughly caffeinated, and Don was finished with the torturous stack of paperwork, so he decided to call it a day.

He walked out to his office and found Olivia sitting at Munch's vacated desk. "Hey Olivia, are you ready to go?" Olivia looked up at him, confused for only a second before she understood what he meant. "Yes I am. Sorry, I was spaced out for a second." On the way back to his brownstone, he stopped at Little Caesar's and picked up two large hot and ready pizzas. Olivia's stomach audibly growled as soon as the scent hit her. "Somebody must be hungry," Don said, chuckling fondly when Olivia mock scowled at him.

 _ **Later That Night:**_

For the first time ever, Olivia was preparing for bed with a full stomach and a clear mind. She could not recall a single time in her entire life when she felt this safe and free. "Olivia, can I come in," she heard Don ask as he lightly knocked on the door. She slipped on her sweats and hoodie before saying that he could. When he did, he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Olivia, I got a phone call today. I…um your mother and father…" Her face immediately became pale and full of fear.

"No! Please! She may have given birth to me, but she was no mother! He…well please do not get me started!" Her voice was tinged with pain, and he could not help but feel a pang through his heart as he reached forward, tentatively placing a hand on her knee. She did not move away, and he looked her straight in the eyes. "I…I have to tell you that…they were arrested for being involved in a child prostitution ring. What do you know?"

As soon as he saw the first tears escape from her eyes, he knew what he had to do. He released her knee and reached forward, wrapping her in his arms. She immediately snuggled up to the virtual stranger, feeling safer with him than everyone she ever knew. He was already showing her more kindness than she had ever experienced, and she could not understand why. Don's heart broke for the young woman in his embrace, and he could not help but squeeze her closer. "Whenever you are ready, know that you can come to me. I will not judge you or blame you in any way. What I will do is listen, okay honey," he gently said, and he felt Olivia nod against him in reply. She made no effort to move from his embrace, and he made no effort to push her away. Sometime later, Olivia fell asleep with her head on Don's chest, and he did not have the heart to move. He just held her close, murmuring soft reassurances. "Don," Olivia said. He did not even know she was awake because she never moved or made any other sound, and he smiled down at her, indicating that he was listening.

"It happened for as long as I can remember. Not a day went by when I do not remember being abused in one way or another." His heart dropped into his stomach at her words, and he automatically squeezed her closer. "I do not know what love is, what having a real parent is. You are…you are the first person who has shown me any real kindness."

"I suspect by how you are still in my arms that I am the first one who touched you without hurting you," he gently inquired, and Olivia curled closer(if this was even possible). "Yes, you are. I did not even know this was possible."

"Olivia, you are not going to be hurt anymore. I will defend you with everything that I have. You do not have to worry anymore. No more looking over your shoulder and behind your back as long as I am around…as long as you will let me around." Olivia cried tears of relief as she finally let everything go. Don just held the shaking and sobbing young woman and murmured soft reassurances.

 _ **The Next Day:**_

Olivia awoke to the glorious smell of coffee and sat up in her bed, stretching. Last night had been a long night, and she had finally cried herself to sleep in Don's arms around 01:00 hours. She finally made her way downstairs, smiling gratefully when Don placed a steaming mug of coffee in her hands and guided her to the table, where a heaping plate of breakfast was in front of her. "What do you want to do today?" Olivia looked up at him, stunned. She actually got to choose! She had never before had this much choice, this much freedom.

"I plan on giving you the experiences you never got to have, the childhood you deserve but never received. Will you let me do that?" Olivia's eyes widened with joy as she leapt up, giving him a bear hug. "I know the perfect way to start. How about a Disney movie," he said. "What is Disney," Olivia replied, and now Don's eyes widened in shocked amusement.

"You have so much to learn child. Go choose a movie from the DVD case labeled Disney and pop it in the DVD player. I am going to pop some popcorn," he said, kissing her forehead. Olivia skipped from his embrace over to the DVD case, a wide grin threatening to split her face in two. She finally settled on Cinderella. Soon, the pair was devouring popcorn, and Don was smiling fondly at the amused and bewildered look on Olivia's face. She could not believe it, had never seen anything like it. As she curled closer to Don and finished the last handful of popcorn, her heart felt ten times lighter. "Don?"

"Yes honey," Don said as he paused the movie, lightly kissing her head. He had a gut feeling that she was about to open up to him, and his gut feeling turned out to be correct. "It…well it has been happening since as long as I can remember. My marriage…well, it was arranged, and I was only 15. I did not want any of it. I first met Barclay when he was dating my mother. She was separated from my so-called father at the time, and she sold me to him starting when I was 8. He…um he was obsessed. The worst part is I will always carry a permanent reminder of their reign of terror-my last names."

"Oh no missy, not if I can help it. You have been a daughter to me ever since the minute I laid eyes on you. What do you say about making it official? You could become Detective Olivia Cragen instead of Detective Olivia Benson-Harrison."

"You really mean that? Wait, did you just say detective? Is there something you are not telling me," Olivia said, her eyes wide with shock.

"Yes. In one month's time, I get to hand you your gold shield and welcome you as the newest member of Special Victims Unit," Don replied, smiling at the young woman who would soon become his daughter and newest detective. She smiled back before replying: "Yes, I would love to become Detective Olivia Cragen."

"Okay Miss Cragen, how about we finish the movie and discuss some plans?" Olivia leaned up and quickly kissed his cheek before settling her head back on his chest. "Sounds like a plan."

 _ **Two Weeks Later:**_

All the pain she suffered, all the terror she experienced, it was all about to be put behind her. Today, she was about to become a Cragen. She stood in front of Judge Thornton, her hands shaking. "Why do you want Captain Cragen to adopt you when you already have two living biological parents?"

"In the short amount of time that I have known him, he has been the only person to show me any real compassion. Before him, I did not even know what Disney movies were. He has opened my eyes to a whole new world, one in which I do not have to be hurt to be of any value to those around me. No disrespect Judge Thornton, but you and the court system in general rely too much on DNA to determine who an individual's parents are. DNA does not determine who parents are. Parents are determined by genuine compassion and unconditional love, both of which he has never failed to show me. It would be nothing short of an honour to be adopted by Captain Donald Cragen."

"I agree with you. Congratulations Detective Olivia Danielle Cragen. I believe your father has some things to give you." Captain Donald Cragen walked until he was standing in front of his new daughter, his face beaming with pride. "Welcome to New York Police Department Manhattan Special Victims Unit Detective Cragen. Here is your gold shield, duty weapon, and holster." Olivia's eyes filled with tears of joy as she clipped her shield to her belt. She then clipped her duty weapon to her side and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her dad. "Vos semper amandus," he whispered, and she leaned up, kissing his cheek.


	2. Lacrimae, Formidines, Et In Omnia Inter

Captain Donald Cragen smiled as he gently ran his fingers through Olivia's hair. He always tried to wake her up with a gentle touch after she told him that he was the first person who touched her without hurting her. "Dad, what time is it," a half asleep Olivia mumbled as she leaned into his hand.

"It is time to wake up and get ready for work honey. Coffee is downstairs for after you get dressed," he replied, kissing Olivia's head. Olivia smiled as she blinked sleepy eyes at him. "Okay dad." She got up and got dressed, tucking her gun in her belt before making her way downstairs, smiling when her dad carefully placed a steaming mug of coffee in her hands.

"Dad, I need to talk to you," she said in between sips of coffee, and Don smiled, signaling for his daughter to continue. "I do not know how to feel anymore. I know I should hate my mom, but there is this little part of me that loves her." As soon as she set her coffee mug down, he reached across the table and took her hands in his.

"Olivia Danielle, what do we tell the little boys and girls that come into the precinct after suffering the ultimate betrayal at the hands of the ones who are supposed to protect them? It is not their fault, and it is certainly not yours. It is completely normal to feel that way. I will always love you sweetheart."

"I will always love you too dad. It is all so confusing." Donald Cragen smiled as he got up, filling their travel mugs with coffee. "It may not seem like it now honey, but it will get better. You won't ever get over what has happened. You will just learn to cope with it and help others who have been through what you experienced, which is what we do for a living." He handed his daughter her travel mug and kissed her cheek before they headed off to work.

A few hours later, Olivia was doing paperwork at her desk when she heard a voice that haunted her nightmares, a voice that sent shivers down her spine. "Is Olivia Benson-Harrison here?" She grabbed her files and a pen before hastily retreating to her dad's office, slamming the door behind her. "Whoa sweetheart, what is wrong?"

"My mother is here. I did not want to see her right now, so I came in here." Don smiled as he arose, walking over to his daughter and kissing her forehead. "Sit at my desk and finish your paperwork baby. I will handle this." He then walked out of his office, and Olivia occupied his vacated desk.

"There is no Olivia Benson-Harrison here. I am the commanding officer of this unit, and I am asking you to leave. Whether you leave a free woman or get handcuffed and placed in interrogation room one is completely up to you."

Olivia heard her father's voice from inside his office, and her heart swelled with joy. His voice boomed with anger as he ordered: "Arrest her and send her to interrogation room one." When her dad returned to his office, she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Thanks daddy. I love you."

"I love you too butterfly. I have an idea that might help you in your healing process. We can't prosecute her for what she did to you because of statute of limitations, but you could confront her. I would be by your side the entire time."

"In that case, please take me to interrogation." Don smiled and placed a kiss on his daughter's forehead. They then exited his office and made their way to interrogation room one, Olivia grabbing her NYPD jacket from the back of her chair and putting it on as they walked. Don wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked in, and Serena looked up, pure hatred on her face. "You were here the whole time Olivia Rose Benson-Harrison."

"My name is Olivia Danielle Cragen, and you will listen. You are not my mother and never have been. Just because you gave birth to me does not make you my mother. You betrayed me in the worst way possible, sold me to Barclay for his perverted and sick pleasures. I was only 8 years old, and I never wanted any of it! It hurt so bad, and you just stood by. When I told you that I did not want to marry Barclay, you told me that you would sell me to a hitman that would fuck me then kill me. I was so young!" Olivia stared her mom down, and Serena's eyes glowered with fury.

"You have no right to speak to me like that! I had every right to do what I did because I am your mother, your parent! You deserved everything that happened!" An infuriated Olivia stared down her mother, an angry glint in her eyes. "You never were a parent! Dad, take me home!"

"With pleasure honey." The pair walked out of interrogation, and Don led her out of the precinct, keeping his arm around her shoulders. Olivia waited until they were home and cuddled on the couch before breaking down, tears flowing down her face. She stroked her gold shield, the memories of the day she received it swarming through her mind. She recalled standing in front of Judge Thornton, her heart pounding as she spoke. She recalled leaning forward and wrapping her arms around her dad, him whispering, "Vos semper amandus," in her ear. Those three Latin words sounded more amazing than their English translation, and Olivia never failed to smile every time he said that.

"Olivia, what is going through that pretty little head of yours? What are you thinking about," Don asked, and Olivia broke from her thoughts, a smile on her face as she wiped her tears away. "I was thinking about the day you adopted me. I was thinking about what happened with my mother when I grabbed my gold shield. The memories of mom disappeared, and I started thinking of the memories we have made and still have yet to make. The words you whispered to me after court have stuck with me. I know more than my fair share of Latin from hanging out with the Stablers. They even took me to church a few times. What you said to me translates to you will always be loved, but it sounds ten times better in Latin."

"Vos semper amandus," Don said, and Olivia smiled as she cuddled closer. "Mea Pater gratias ago tibi, quia non. Tu optimus omnium Pater semper." Don was shocked at her level of Latin proficiency, something that could not be achieved by attending Catholic church a few times and hanging out with the Stablers. "I forgot to tell you that I am fluent in Latin, Russian, Spanish, German, Swedish, and Swahili."

"Damn honey! Do I have a genius for a daughter," Don jokingly said, and Olivia slightly tensed up before replying. "School was my escape dad. I graduated high school at 9 years old, as I was allowed to skip several grades. I was allowed to go to college as long as I cooperated with whatever they wanted to do with me."

"Livvy, I keep learning new things about you, and I still love you regardless. You are sweet, loving, kind, and hardworking. I am not biased when I say that you are one of my best detectives. Even Chief Karpinski has taken notice. He says the Cragen name must carry some good luck and strong work ethic when it comes to law enforcement."

 _ **Later That Night:**_

Olivia smiled as her father tucked her in and kissed her forehead. "Tibi gratias ago tibi quia non filia mea. Dulce mel somniorum. Vos semper amandus."

"Deo gratias, quia est ens per lacrimis, in timoribus, et inter omnia. Non potui melius peterent Pater".


	3. Usque in Aeternum Exsilium

_**Usque in Aeternum Exsilium**_

 _ **(Forever Home At Last)**_

 _ **Detective Tutuola:**_ As Olivia's father, you have every right to know.

 _ **Captain Cragen:**_ What do I have every right to know as Olivia's father?

 _ **Detective Tutuola:**_ Olivia was raped. She begged me not to report it for fear of blowing cover. She is afraid that you will be mad at her, that you will hate her. It happened two months ago.

 _ **Captain Cragen:**_ Thanks for letting me know Fin. I will wait for her to confide in me, and your name will not be mentioned…

This text exchange both infuriated and worried Donald Cragen. He was not infuriated at Olivia but rather at the person who dared to hurt her. Olivia showed up on his doorstep last night fresh from the undercover operation at Sealview Correctional Facility yesterday. Don had missed her dearly, and he wondered whether she would come back in time to celebrate nine years since the adoption. Now, he had to wait for Olivia to come to him and plan an adoption anniversary celebration.

"Dad, can we take a walk," Olivia said as she poked her head in his office door. Her voice was shaky with barely concealed emotion, and Captain Donald Cragen smiled as he arose. "Sure sweetheart," he replied, his voice laced with concern as he grabbed his jacket. Twenty minutes later, they finally sat down on a bench in a secluded section of Central Park. Olivia curled up to her dad, enjoying the safety she felt in his embrace. It helped shield her, reaffirm her belief that not everyone was bad. Don meanwhile was looking at his daughter, concern written all over his face.

"Dad, I have something to tell you, but I do not want you to get mad at me," Olivia said, and Don's concern immediately grew. Her tone of voice immediately set off his dad radar, as well as the fact she was clinging tightly to him. She was scared he would leave even if she slightly loosened her grip. "Livi Danielle, you can tell me anything. Nothing you say will make me love you any less."

"I was raped," she said in a whisper as she buried her head in the crook of his neck, tears falling down her face. He pulled her into his lap and slowly arose, not letting her go. "Shh Livi bear, I am not mad at you. Hey, it…it will be okay," he said as he walked. He was choking up at the pain of the shaking and sobbing young woman in his arms, choking up at the thought that his little girl was in pain. His anger was directed at the monster who dared hurt his daughter, and his fury would know no limits when he got near the demon…

As soon as he arrived at his place, he tucked a sleeping Olivia in his bed with a kiss to her head before he sat don on the bed beside her, a book in hand. Olivia felt the bed dip as she slept and unconsciously moved closer, burying her head in his chest. He placed the book on his nightstand and squeezed his sleeping daughter close, smiling at how peaceful and young she looked in her sleep. "No! Please don't," she screamed as she started to thrash.

"Baby. wake up! It is going to be okay. Shh, daddy is here." She instantly calmed down at the sound of his voice and curled up closer, her ear resting above his heart. He quietly eased her onto the bed with a gentle kiss to the cheek before going to cook dinner. Olivia woke up an hour later to the smells of a breakfast for dinner extravaganza. She smiled as she rubbed her eyes, getting out of bed. When she emerged into the kitchen, a heaping plate of bacon, eggs, pancakes, and home fries was placed in front of her. Her smile grew wider when he placed a cup of orange juice and mug of coffee in front of her. "Dig in sweetheart. You deserve that and so much more."

Olivia dug in with gusto, and Don looked at her as he slid an envelope across the table. Olivia looked at him, puzzled. "Today has been nine years since I adopted you, and it has been the best nine years of my life. I will never regret a single moment of it." Olivia teared up as she finished eating her dinner and drinking her orange juice and coffee. Then, she opened up the envelope.

My Dearest Olivia,

It has been nine years since I adopted you, and it has been the best nine years of my life. You are funny, smart, kind, loving, and compassionate. I cannot take away the pain you experienced or have yet to experience, and that hurts me. You are an amazing detective and even better daughter. I love you so much, more than you will ever know. You are the best daughter ever, and I am so glad that you are mine. I will always cherish the memories we have made and the ones we have yet to make.

Love Always,

Dad

Olivia stood up, puzzled when she heard music playing. She saw her father with outstretched arms, an image that brought tears to her eyes. She recalled telling him after the Tandi McCain case how all she ever wanted growing up was to dance around in the living room with her dad. She walked into his arms and laid her head on his chest, more tears filling her eyes when he started singing to her as they swayed along.

"The hurt in your eyes will never disguise the spark that lived there before, and I know that you're so much more than you're showin'. The clouds in your hair will bring you to tears, but I will catch every drop even if it don't ever stop 'cause you're worth it. You're worth it. When you fight for every breath and the waves are overhead, let me lay your mind to rest. I will stand by you when all of your dreams are shattered and your world is left in tatters. When you're lost we're lost together. I'll stand by, I will stand by you. If black is your brightest colour; if hurt is your only lover. When you fight, we fight together. I'll stand by, I will stand by you. I will stand by you. I will stand by you. I will stand by you. The war in your head will shoot you down dead, so don't even try to win. Is it worth it all in the end? I don't think so. Try to embrace the lines on your face, the story of who you are 'cause I love what I've read so far. I mean it. I mean it. When you fight for every breath and the waves are overhead, let me lay your mind to rest. I will stand by you when all of your dreams are shattered and your world is left in tatters. When you're lost we're lost together. I'll stand by, I will stand by you. If black is your brightest colour; if hurt is your only lover. When you fight, we fight together. I'll stand by, I will stand by you. I will stand by you. I will stand by you. I will stand by you. When you fight for every breath and the waves are overhead, let me lay your mind to rest. I will stand by you when all of your dreams are shattered (yeah) and your world is left in tatters. When you're lost we're lost together, I'll stand by, I will stand by you (I will stand by you). If black is your brightest colour. If hurt is your only lover (only lover). When you fight, we fight together, I'll stand by, I will stand by you (I will stand by you). I will stand by you. I will stand by you. I will stand by you. I will stand by you. I will stand by you. I will stand by you. I will stand by you."

"Usque in aeternum exsilium," Olivia murmured as she snuggled closer, her ear resting above his heart as they continued to sway along, even as the music faded out. She felt so peaceful swaying along with her dad, wished she could stay forever wrapped in her dad's loving embrace. The secret living inside of her would not allow for that because she was due to become a mother.

"We got out before I showed up at your place, and I went to the free clinic to confirm it. In seven months time, you will be a grandfather to two beautiful identical twin girls."


End file.
